Another Day... Another Diet

I am the biggest conformist when it comes to New Year's Resolutions. Not only is my resolution to start eating healthier and to get my ass to the gym, but I also plan on breaking it very soon. Today my favorite pair of jeans burst at the seams in the upper-inner thigh area. Most people I know would look at the damage and vow to start staving themselves immediately. I, on the other hand, suddenly had the mouth-watering urge to find a piece of chocolate to eat my feelings. But then I thought of my New Year's Resolution and remembered that I planned on sticking to it for another week or two.
It's times like these that I remember how all of my other diets have gone. I think I can sum it up in two words: painful and frustrating. As I prosmised, here is another two excerpts from last years journal to prove my point:

-January 20, 2009-

"...it's day 8 of my New Year's Resolution to eat right and exercise and I'm about to eat my hand. I've worked out every day and I've been eating nothing but fruits, veggies, whole wheat (which by the way tastes like I would imagine cardboard to taste). I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to put myself through all of this...maybe I can blame my agony on the media shoving skinny bitches in my face all day? *score one for Communications Majors*"

And another...

-February 11, 2009-

"Day 9 of APO's pledging process and I want to vomit every time I look at my jam packed planner.

Day 31 of my diet. I still would like to eat my hand; but, fortunately resisting the temptation has become increasingly easier. Also, I have major beef with the scale at the gym. It says I haven't lost any weight... I say it's a lying piece of shit.

Day 7,190 of my existence. Nothing exciting to report except that I have made it to college, I can now drive a clutch in heels, and I have had 1.5 boyfriends."

I think it's safe to say that when I'm on a diet, I'm also on suicide watch. So keep me in your thoughts. In the mean time, I'm going to go have some Oreos and peanut butter... I mean some dry lettuce... while I sew up the gaping hole in my jeans that my right thigh so graciously created.